Monday, April 9, 2012

Gratitude Monday Returns

spring snow

After Eve died, I kept up my gratitude journal, even though it was difficult.  I intended to keep counting gifts indefinitely, but as I neared and then passed my one thousandth gift, I noticed a shift in my feelings about counting.  Instead of being an exciting (and challenging) experiment, it had become a chore.  Something to do because I was a "good Christian," something that would earn me status and worth.

My counting had turned to legalism.  And so I stopped counting.  I want to only do this experiment out of a sense of want to, not have to or "earning."  And I think that I truly did need the break, because I didn't miss the counting.

Until a few weeks ago.  As I prepared to share my story of gifts-counting and stillbirth and pain with the women of my church, I began to feel sad that I was not still counting God's gifts to me.  I missed cataloging this evidence for myself, these attestations to God's love and care, especially in the middle of crisis.  So when I started working through Beth Moore's Believing God study with my women's small group, I was not unhappy to see that the workbook set aside space to count gifts daily.  I began counting again.

This time I am counting without numbering each one, hoping to avoid judging my worth by my performance, by the amount of gifts that I can see.  I am letting my efforts be smaller -- to not want to count a certain quota of gifts per day, to let myself take a day or days off without guilt if I need to.  I am interested to see where the second phase of this gratitude experiment takes me.  But for now, to the gifts . . .

... spring snow

... a beautiful time at a friend's birthday party

... new worship songs on my iPod

... Suzi Blu art videos

... feeling lovely for Easter

... a special, surprising present for our rainbow baby

... scrambled eggs and french toast casserole shared with friends

... playing cards at a coffee shop with the Best Husband Ever

... Easter dinner at my in-laws' house

spring snow 

On Mondays, I catch you up on the beautiful gifts — both large and small, hard and comfortable — that God has been giving me.  Start your own One Thousand Gifts adventure by clicking on the banner below.


  1. I have come to this place, too... the place where counting has new meaning, the place where I want the counting to 'count' in a new sense. You list is filled with the simple beauty that God gives each day. Thank you for sharing these gifts.

  2. Beautiful post..and my favorite is #123.


"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King