Monday, October 31, 2011

Gratitude Monday

light

flame

brushes

red

snout

friendship

one thousand gifts

#123... knowing that God never leaves me
#124... feeling clean and lovely
#125... preparing for labor and parenthood by reading Birthing From Within
#126... knowing that God is in control...
#127... ...and that I don't have to be
#128... nurturing the Best Husband Ever and being nurtured by him
#129... Sunday night dinner with the Best Inlaws Ever
#130... treating myself to some soda
#131... a crazy snowstorm in the northeast ushering in winter
#132... the Best Husband Ever
#133... hot lemon water in the morning
On Mondays, I catch you up on the beautiful gifts -- both large and small, hard and comfortable -- that God has been throwing my way.  Read more about my gratitude adventure here, and start your own One Thousand Gifts adventure by clicking on the banner below.


What are you feeling grateful for today?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Epiphany Art, In Person


Getting ready...

I feel so excited right now -- and also a bit nervous.  Why?  Because today I am selling my art, prints, and cards at my first-ever live market!  This evening, I will be manning my table at a local holiday market.  It's a small market, and so I think it's perfect for my first live business venue.  But wow -- I can't believe that I'm doing this!  What an adventure!For the past couple of days, I have been busily gathering everything I need to decorate my table.  I've also been printing out loads of cards, and I ordered some small giclee prints from iPrintfromHome which look absolutely gorgeous in their detail and quality.  I'll also be offering four original pieces.  I hope that they find homes with the right people!

My goals for this market are, I think, fairly reasonable, especially for my first time out.  I want to:

  • hand out loads of business cards

  • get people signed up for my newsletter (you can sign up by entering your email address in the widget in the right sidebar of this blog, and you'll receive periodic notifications of special discounts, news, and events)

  • make back the money I spent getting ready for the market


And, of course, I want to have fun!  As I already said, I'm super excited.  And I'm so proud of myself for simply trying -- for putting myself and my art out there, for taking a risk, for allowing a new experience to enrich my life.

I think it will be good.

Here I go . . .!

p.s.  Stand by for a post-holiday-market sale in my Etsy shop!


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Perfection is Not Required

I love reading about other artists' processes on their blogs or in books, seeing what each stage of a piece looked like before it was finished.  Seeing the steps that go into a piece -- as well as the seeming imperfections -- really inspires and encourages me.  So here is the evolution of the most recent Christmas card I've created (you saw its beginnings yesterday).

{in progress}

{in progress}

{in progress}

Hark

I had such a fun time creating this piece -- until the end.  Then the perfectionism monster grabbed me and would not let go.  After I affixed the words, I grimaced at how mustard yellow they looked.  But at the same time I knew that I couldn't remove the words without literally tearing holes in the piece.  So I decided to deal with the yellow -- when I realized that I'd forgotten to give the angel a second wing!  Sigh.  I can't decide if it looks totally doofy.  What do you think?

Still, not all is lost.  I can fix the wing issue, and the printed Christmas card version of this piece doesn't reveal that there's a lack of wing.  And most of all, I'm trying to use this rather frustrating experience to learn something about myself and my need to "be perfect" all the time.  A few weeks ago God planted a thought in my head that has really stuck with me -- perfection is not required.

"Really?" I wanted to ask, already knowing the answer and not liking it one bit.

"Really," I felt God replied.

Oh.

So . . . the creation of this piece reminded me of that.  I don't need to be perfect.  My art does not need to be perfect.  What is required is an openness to God, to growth, to grace.  The state of my heart, not the quality of my importance, is what's important to Him. 

I think that it will take me a long, long time to fully learn this lesson.  A lifetime, perhaps.  I don't know why I resist the idea that I don't have to be perfect so much.  Shouldn't this truth come as a relief?  Perhaps I take issue more with the fact that it is impossible to be perfect.  So I'll have to learn, and keep learning, this lesson.  But I believe that, in the end, it will prove to be a lesson worth learning.

Do you struggle with perfectionism?  How do you deal with it? 

Evolution of a Christmas Card

I love reading about other artists' processes on their blogs or in books, seeing what each stage of a piece looked like before it was finished.  Seeing the steps that go into a piece -- as well as the seeming imperfections -- really inspires and encourages me.  So here is the evolution of the most recent Christmas card I've created (you saw its beginnings yesterday).  Enjoy!

{in progress}

{in progress}

{in progress}

Hark

I had a really great time making this piece -- until right at the end. Then the perfectionism monster grabbed hold of me and would not let go.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Art in Progress + Trying Something New

{in progress}

I am working on a couple of new art pieces.  The first (above) is going to be the next in my Christmas-themed series.  She is not a specific character from the nativity story, but can you guess who (or what...) she is?

{in progress}

The other art-in-progress that I'm working on (above) is quite new for me.  I've never created anything in which a) there is no visible face on the main character, and b) landscape scenery is present (let alone a huge part of the focus!).  I have no idea how this is going to turn out . . . but I already love it because I was not-scared enough to try something so different from what I usually make.  Even the the end product isn't so great, I already consider this piece a success simply because I tried.  Because if I'm not in this art stuff to grow and learn and discover -- really, what's the point?

Are you working on anything new right now?  I'd love to see it!

p.s.  Thank you all for your sweet and encouraging comments on my last few posts.  They mean the world to me!  I am so grateful for all of you, and am glad that you're a part of my life.  Thank you.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Gratitude Monday

Day 202 / Fallen

The weekend was gorgeous here in western Montana.  We had the perfect mixture of light and clouds, cold and sun.  The trees look absolutely brilliant in their autumn colors.  I went on a long walk with one of the pups on Saturday morning to soak it all in.  Delicious.  I wish it could stay like this for months, but I know that the snows will probably be here in what will feel like only moments. 

What are you feeling grateful for today?  Here are some of the gifts I received this week:
#78... registering for baby items with the Best Husband Ever
#79... tired feet that make me appreciate sitting
#80... mist and low clouds seeping along every street
#81... staying up late to finish Princess Academy
#82... the frustration of elusive sleep yielding the blessing of reading One Thousand Gifts at three o'clock in the morning
#83... wanting to share Chapter 4 with a friend
#84... baby kicks in my belly telling me that I'm not alone in my wakefulness
#85... knowing that perfection is not required
#86... reading old journal entries and seeing how God was working even then, even when He felt so far away

On Mondays, I catch you up on the beautiful gifts -- both large and small, hard and comfortable -- that God has been throwing my way.  Read more about my gratitude adventure here, and start your own One Thousand Gifts adventure by click on the banner below.  

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Cultivating Gratitude

HopeAs I shared in my last post, I have been reading Ann Voskamp's blog and her book, One Thousand Gifts, and I've decided to participate in counting the many-sized gifts I receive from God daily.  I want to say more about that. 

God has been so generous to me.  Ridiculously generous.  I struggled with disordered eating in its many incarnations (compulsive overeating, anorexia, and purging via over-exercise, to name a few) for seventeen years.  It started around the time that I entered middle school, born of a need to cope with the overwhelming social pressures of the middle school I attended as well as the stress of living in a home where there was a lot of yelling and not much in the way of hugs and love and grace.

Disordered eating followed me through high school, college, grad school, and beyond.  It nearly destroyed my marriage.  It nearly took my life.  The battle for health in both body and mind has been, in a word, hell.  And for all my hard work and attempts to claw my way into recovery, I never succeeded at getting or staying free from my eating disorder.

Until God stepped in.  In March of this year, I gave up the fight -- and not in the positive, I-give-myself-to-Jesus kind of way.  It was more like, "I've so damn tired, and I just can't bear to try anymore."  So I gave up, resigned myself to a life of disordered misery, and on a whim signed up for an online art class in an attempt to fill up my time.

I don't know if it was the giving up, or my new art-making -- but my life exploded in the best of ways.  Perhaps my giving up allowed God room to finally work, instead of me trying to force Him to fit into my agenda.  Or maybe the art opened my life to Him in a unique way.  I don't know.  I don't think I'll ever know.  But suddenly, without my even asking God for help, He healed me.  Virtually overnight, I went from living in depressing enslavement to eating (and not eating) to shouting-from-the-rooftops freedom.  It was miraculous.

I was (and am) most amazed by the fact that God gifted me with this freedom without my asking.  Without my prayers.  Without my expectation.  Without me doing any work at all.  He did it, and He did it without reserve.  Instead of being trapped in what can only be described as a living death, He unwrapped me from my eating disorder shroud and flung me into joy and color and more life than I could ever have imagined.

I don't know why He did it.  I certainly didn't deserve it.  But He did it, and I imagine that He did so with a delicious feeling of abandon. 

Since then, I have been able to see God's character more clearly.  How "mostly what God does is love you" (Ephesians 5:1-2, MSG).  How much He loves us, and how eager He is to load our lives up with His joy and blessing.

And I began to see His gifts.  Small things and big things.  Gifts that showed me more of God, more of His love.  Gifts that showed me how much He cares for me specifically

But I didn't know what to do with those gifts, or how to keep seeing His gifts when I don't feel particularly blessed.  This summer, as I reveled in my new freedom from disordered eating, I felt like I was on a honeymoon with God.  But I wondered how to retain that hyper-awareness of God's blessing and love and giving when the honeymoon inevitably ended.  This summer I felt that I was living fully for the first time in my life, and I wanted to keep living that way, no matter what lies my emotions or the crush of life tried to tell me.

Enter Ann and her One Thousand Gifts.  The tagline for this book is, "A dare to live fully right where you are."  And while I think that the book is about that, I think it's also about cultivating gratitude, and then letting that gratitude take you deep into the mysterious fulness of life.  A life with God.  A life that sees and is thankful and as a result is glad, no matter what death-shadows loom.

Ann writes about how she decided to write down the small gifts she felt blessed by each day.  Things like "bedsheets in billowing winds . . . fluff of sparrow landing on line, sun winter warm, and one last leaf still hanging in the orchard" (p. 53).  And, through this simple act of noticing the small blessings of life, Ann felt led into a deeper relationship with God.  Into a deeper experience of life.  A more rich experience, and a more grateful one.

I have so much to be grateful for.  Big things, like a whole and healed heart, and small things, like feeling God encourage me through a disappointment this afternoon, and the comfort of one of my pups curled up next to me on the couch while I read.  I want to notice these things, and feel how wide is God's provision and gifts for me, right here, where and when and how I am. 

So I have started my own list of one thousand gifts.  I will share some of them here with you.  I hope that you will be encouraged by them.  I know that even for the week or so that I've been seeing and noticing God through these gifts, I already feel a more profound sense of true thanksgiving and security in the Lover of my soul.

"In naming that which is right before me, that which I'd otherwise miss, the invisible becomes visible.
The space that spans my inner emptiness fills in the naming.  I name. And I know the face I face.
God's!  God is in the details; God is in the moment.  God is in all that blurs by in a life -- even hurts in a life.
GOD!
How can I not name?  Naming these moments may change the ugly names I call myself."

~ from One Thousand Gifts (p. 54)

Do you already have a practice to cultivate gratitude and living-here-and-now?  What is it?  Will you join me (and many others) in naming your own one thousand gifts?

Monday, October 17, 2011

New Art!

Mary

She's finally finished!  Since you last saw her (and her is indeed the Virgin Mary), I layered more color on her headscarf, and added the words around her face.  They are a quote from Luke 1:47-48, and read "Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice..."

I'm quite pleased with how this piece turned out -- and I'm still in love with my watersoluble crayons!  They are so much fun to work with.  I created Mary using the crayons almost exclusively; I also used graphite pencil, acrylic paint, and a gel pen. 

Christmas card

You can find Mary in my Etsy shop as a Christmas card here.  As always, my cards and most prints come with free shipping!

Now, I have to decide who or what the subject of my next Christmas-themed creation is going to be.  Any suggestions? 

I have decided to join Ann Voskamp (and many others) in counting the One Thousand Gifts I receive from God in large and small packages throughout my days.  To participate, find out more here. Here are the gifts He gave this week:
#1... making art outside
#2... working on the spare room with the Best Husband Ever
#3... Cody playing with his yellow dog toy
#4... pumpkin cottage cheese for breakfast
#5... cider-scented candles
#6... warm tea
#7... a sweet, sweet time with God
#8... chihuahua yawns

Friday, October 14, 2011

My New "Studio"

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a dedicated room to create art in.  While our house does have a spare bedroom, it is going to turn into our new baby's bedroom when she arrives.  So right now, my "studio" is our kitchen table

While it would be great to have a real studio, I don't mind working at the kitchen table.  I actually really enjoy it.  The table is large enough to spread my supplies out comfortably, and I don't have to worry about getting paint on the carpet.  Plus the natural light is really excellent in the kitchen.

But yesterday was a beautiful, sunny fall day.  And since fall is my favorite season, I decided to take my art outdoors.  So after some moving of supplies, our outdoor table became my new "studio":

Outdoor "studio"

And it was really, really great.  The temperature was crisp, but I bundled up enough that I felt comfortable.  The light was even better than indoors, and overall I just felt so invigorated as I began to paint.

It was an amazing experience -- for about five minutes.  And then our next door neighbor came outside to smoke a cigarette.  The smoke drifted over to where I sat.  I coughed pointedly but kept on painting -- after all, how long would it take for him to finish his cigarette?  I decided that the pleasure of painting outdoors was worth a few minutes of secondhand smoke.


Except that when he finished his first cigarette, he lit a second.  And then a third.  With each new cigarette, I threw down my brush and stomped inside, determined not to give up my precious new art space.  But he kept smoking.  And smoking. 

I finally gave up.  My perfect spot was ruined.  I would not be able to create art that day, all because of an unthinking neighbor who didn't care if he gave the people around him lung cancer.  What a jerk.

Right?  

Well, after I resigned myself to not being able to paint outdoors, I expressed my creative energies by making lasagna for dinner (the first that I've ever made!).  And at first I fumed big time.  Stupid neighbor, I thought.  Stupid cigarettes.  

Lasagna

But something inside me didn't agree.  Something (or really, Someone) reminded me that I'm definitely not perfect and shouldn't be throwing around judgements so easily.  That many smokers wish they could stop smoking, have tried to stop smoking, but fail again and again, trapped in their nicotine addictions.  That my neighbor really is very nice, and that he wasn't out to ruin my day.

And besides, it's not like I couldn't make art indoors.  Like I usually do.  Like most people usually do, without complaint.  In fact, that Something said, isn't it amazing that you have the freedom and ability to make art at all?

Oh.  Right.

By the time the lasagna finished baking, I had gotten over myself.  I even managed to make some good progress on the new drawing I shared yesterday.  Here she is:

Still in progress...

The piece is not quite finished, but it's getting close.  I hope to be done today.  Can you guess who she is yet?   

[Much to my wry surprise] I'm really pleased with how this is turning out -- especially since all of the color was added during what I had originally thought was a ruined art session.  I often get so tied up in having the "perfect space" or "right atmosphere" to create art in -- when really all that I need are some supplies and the willingness to show up.  I wonder how many more times I will needed to be reminded of this truth before I really behave like it's true.  :)

Where do you make art?

"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!" ~ Luke 2:19-20

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hard at "Work"

Since starting to use my wonderful watersoluble crayons, I seem to have become completely addicted to them.  They blend beautifully, so much better than acrylic or even watercolor paint.  That's my opinion, anyway.  :)

What that means, though, is that I am so excited to use them that I continue to work on new creations every day.  And when I say work, I really mean play, because that's how it feels.  Here's what I'm currently "working" on:

In progress...

Can you guess who the woman is supposed to be?  I will make this print available in my shop as a Christmas card soon.  As I wrote the other day, I'm trying to produce a series of mixed media pieces that either have an overt holiday theme or a more general faith theme, like the one that I just listed in my Etsy shop, with a print of my "Celebrate" piece:


As with all of my cards, this one comes with free shipping!  To learn why I offer free shipping on most of the items in my shop, read this.  Find more blank cards featuring my mixed media creations here


I can't believe that Christmas is pretty much right around the corner!  I'm trying to not feel overwhelmed by the barrage of emails I'm getting from Etsy telling me to GET READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS, ALREADY.  Instead, I'm trying to continue to enjoy art-making, refine my skills, and trust God to direct me on when it's time to start working more on the business side of things.

Are you doing anything special in your business/work to get ready for the holidays?  What do you do to avoid feeling overwhelmed?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Be Un-Perfect

Image source

Trusting

 
Trust me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the light of My everlasting Love. My Love-Light never dims, yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin--so common that it usually slips my unnoticed.

The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself. Don't divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require My help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.
Psalm 37:3-6, Philippians 4:19

I just read this in Jesus Calling, a devotional by Sarah Young, and found it particularly applicable to my life -- especially in light of yesterday's struggle with perfectionism.  How timely God's reminders are, huh?

Have you received any timely reminders recently?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Perfect Fall Day + New Art

I think that today was as close to the most perfect autumn day as you can get.  The morning started off gray with a misting rain, making it easy to cozy up with a cup of tea for some sweet, sweet God time.

The perfect fall day

Then the early afternoon blossomed into sunshiny brilliance, with lingering storm clouds chasing each other across swaths of blue sky. 

The perfect fall day

The temperature didn't reach much higher than 50*F, but even with the blustery wind it did not feel overly cold outside.  It was, to me, perfect.

The perfect fall day

When I tried to take photos, I was sadly reminded that my camera lens is not wide enough to capture just how BIG the day felt.  I think I forget and am reminded of this every year when fall blows in.  I love this season.

Amidst all the autumnal perfection, I worked on an artistic creation I started over the weekend. I was away at a women's retreat through my church, and this is what happened as I sketched away to the sound of a friend serenading us with her guitar and beautiful voice:

In Progress

Today I worked more on this piece. As the original drawing experience had been so blissful, and because the day felt so delicious, I expected the second phase of the piece to be as enjoyable. Instead, however, I felt frustrated most of the way through. Part of this was due to the fact that I was using my watersoluble crayons for the first time. But the rest?

After I was finished I was able to pinpoint the greatest cause of my frustration -- perfectionism. I had forgotten my decision to simply "show up and see what happens" with all of my artistic endeavors. As a result, with this piece I was constantly criticizing myself -- "Why isn't the background working the way I want it to?" "Why can't I blend this more perfectly?" "This doesn't even look like my work. I'm such a copy cat."   Oops.

Still, I really like the finished product. It [mostly] makes up for my yielding to perfectionism:

Celebrate

But today's art-making was also a good reminder to keep things simple -- to show up and see what happens. Period.

(By the way, the words in the girl's purple hair read "The people of God will sing a song of joy," which is from Isaiah 30:29.  I wanted to make something appropriate for a Christmas card.  It'll be making an appearance in my Etsy shop soon!)

Are you prone to give in to perfectionism? How do you fight it off?  And -- what is your version of a perfect fall day?  :)

Trust

Image source



Trust me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the light of My everlasting Love. My Love-Light never dims, yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin--so common that it usually slips my unnoticed.

The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself. Don't divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require My help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.

Psalm 37:3-6, Philippians 4:19



I read this yesterday in Jesus Calling, a devotional by Sarah Young, and found it particularly applicable to my life.  I have always struggled to trust God with all things -- especially with my eating disorder struggle.  I hope this excerpt is as encouraging and timely for you as it is for me.