{A note from Beth: from May through August 2015, I am featuring some delicious guest writers here on the blog as I recover from pregnancy and birth and adjust to our new family rhythms (find more details here). Enjoy!}
Several months ago I
purchased this painting from Beth. She’s been a friend for a few years
and this painting spoke to me. I just had to have it.
My grandfather passed away
in my first year of college and that led me to study grief and
bereavement counseling. I was born at 25 weeks' gestation and knowing
what could’ve been for my family and my life I began to have an interest
in helping families who are experiencing pregnancy and infant loss.
The moment I saw this painting it spoke to me. I needed it.
To me the painting
symbolizes the rainbow baby growing inside a mama who has experienced
pregnancy and infant loss. One in four mothers experience pregnancy and
infant loss- this can be through miscarriage (a baby born before 20
weeks gestation), stillbirth (a baby born not alive after 20 weeks
gestation), preterm birth (a baby born before 37 weeks gestation) or
infant death.
A rainbow baby is a baby
born following the death of a child. They are a referred to as a
“rainbow baby” because they are the rainbow that appears after the storm
(loss) of the baby. While they never replace the child that died, they
are something special in the midst of sorrow.
With my interest in
pregnancy and infant loss, and desire to help these families, this
painting brings me inspiration to continue the work I do. I am honored
to walk along side these families as they journey through their sadness,
fear and sorrow. Having a rainbow baby brings along with it anxiety and
doubt that baby will be healthy. It is an experience like no other- in a
time which should be filled with waiting and excitement is now painted
with fear and worry.
A few weeks ago, I took the
painting to get custom framed at my local Michael’s craft store. A young
woman about mid to late 20’s assisted me in finding the perfect frame.
As I was in the process of choosing a frame I asked if she wanted to
know the story behind the painting. She said she would love to. I told
her that my friend Beth had painted it. Beth is a mother who experienced
pregnancy and infant loss when her daughter Eve was born still. When I
purchased the painting Beth was pregnant with her rainbow baby. I
explained what a rainbow baby was and said that I am a grief and
bereavement counseling student and that I work with families
experiencing pregnancy and infant loss. She said that the story of the
painting was so lovely.
As I paid for my order, she
paused and said ‘you probably hear a lot of people’s personal stories --
but I had a rainbow baby too.” Tears rolled down her face as she told me
this and I asked if I could give her a hug. I told her that her babies
are loved and remembered.
This single moment I shared
with her brought me inspiration, hope, love and a multitude of other
emotions. It was such a special time -- one I will cherish forever.
It also taught me that you
never know where and how you will impact someone’s life. Everything
makes a difference -- make it a positive one. It also reminds me that
pregnancy and infant loss touches the lives of everyone -- even if you
don’t know it.
As I picked up my painting this week the same woman was working. As soon as I approached the counter, she said she remembered me and my special painting. I smiled and thanked her.
Deana Ruston, a 23 year old from London, Ontario, Canada (about 2 hours from Toronto), studies grief and bereavement counselling at King's University College at Western University. She has an interest in pregnancy and infant loss, loves to bake, cook and volunteer. Born at 25 weeks gestation, she identifies as a fighter. She won't back down.