tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post3529285781917230104..comments2023-08-04T07:13:23.815-07:00Comments on Beth Morey, Writer + Artist: Why Bullying About Grief's [Lack of] Timeline is UnhelpfulBeth Moreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17507326859684820743noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-33602645492973168952013-04-03T12:37:53.717-07:002013-04-03T12:37:53.717-07:00Thank you for sharing this Beth. I suspect writing...Thank you for sharing this Beth. I suspect writing it was in itself a reliving of the pain, not just of the grief you experienced from that inexplicable loss, but a grief of being misunderstood by those who you might expect or at least hoped could understand. <br /><br />I know grief is painful and necessary and in its own way beautiful, but it is such a powerful emotion that to be in the presence of another who grieves brings up such powerful emotions for some people that they are incapable of doing what I need - nothing. Just sit with me. Don't try to fix me, make me feel better or anything else that will push me prematurely out of the pain. Don't do those things because when you do it, you negate my experience and your reason for doing it is probably to relieve your own discomfort. Just sit with me, see me, witness me and do your imperfect best to understand me. That is enough. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201965446580603959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-86318528597993997532013-03-25T13:30:13.487-07:002013-03-25T13:30:13.487-07:00I love this post, Beth...absolutely love every wor...I love this post, Beth...absolutely love every word...Abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18441596064425208427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-38715641028128032992013-03-22T14:23:36.735-07:002013-03-22T14:23:36.735-07:00Oh Beth, how you touch my heart so! My son was st...Oh Beth, how you touch my heart so! My son was stillborn on May 2, 1975 at full term..a knot was in his cord. I wish you would take a look at my blog i started last Nov. wwwfittsiesangels.blogspot.com. I have been bullied and ignored and treated horribly by my husband's loving family and by my own loving family. What happens when a baby dies that brings out the worse in families? I had two rainbow sons. Then wham, 5 years after my first stillbirth,our only daughter dies at about 20 - 24 weeks with the cord contorted. I have longed for some baby jewelry such as you just pictured, but I never buy it b/c I KNOW I of the remarks that will be made. It has been 38 years this May, get over it! I am 62 years old, soon to be 63 and I can't stand it! Icreate specailly made balloons & release them (after pictures are made) for angel babies on their angelversary off the Outer Banks of NC where I live. I have a FB page for this, Fittsie's Angel Balloons. Since it is a Community page anyone can see it. I have time for this since I am a retired teacher. Family says I am going over-board. Sorry for ranting on. Your post just got to me! :) Gale <br /> Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137820637811811160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-17804320085378331692013-03-21T15:53:58.498-07:002013-03-21T15:53:58.498-07:00Thank you so much for this. So often, those of us ...Thank you so much for this. So often, those of us who have not experienced a loss such as yours have no idea what to say or not to say. You sharing this, your experience, every part of it, helps all of us know how to walk with the grief.<br />I am so sorry for your loss and for its palpable reminder. I'm sorry that you will never be the same. But I'm also thankful for who you are today, because clearly you have important things to share and we all need to hear it.<br />Grace and peace on your head, today, and always.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07219986489903886940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-50947253026121000662013-03-21T11:41:11.553-07:002013-03-21T11:41:11.553-07:00wear her name
bear her name
no one else can tell y...wear her name<br />bear her name<br />no one else can tell you what to feel<br />press on and in to HimHisFireFlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846956916583286916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-29521246346096184702013-03-21T07:05:23.566-07:002013-03-21T07:05:23.566-07:00I've found that the people who respond with im...I've found that the people who respond with impatience or a seeming lack of tolerance of grief are the very ones who feel uncomfortable with it because they haven't dealt with their own grief and pain. They've bullied themselves to "feel better and move on". They seem to be unable to stay with their own pain and so cannot witness another person's with acceptance and love. My experience is that grief never leaves, it just seeks loving acceptance, expression and patience with it, and very slowly integrates into "Who I Am", becoming a part of what makes me Emma, alongside the joy, happiness, gratitude and love that makes up me and my life. My grief is held in the part of my heart that was broken, along with my cherished memories, and I've learned I need to hold that part of my heart tenderly and with love and respect for my grief, not a sweeping away of it, or hiding it. Em x Mimi and Tillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01538674717041795218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-79632824931206184822013-03-21T05:53:16.537-07:002013-03-21T05:53:16.537-07:00No timeline on grief- that's so true and so HA...No timeline on grief- that's so true and so HARD. There's just no way to tidy up the pain, is there? So sorry for your loss. I've got a little one in Heaven who would be hopping on the bus and heading to kindergarten today if he were here. Praying God will be near to you as you journey.Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11022107791689799322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-33567932038823409662013-03-20T19:00:00.290-07:002013-03-20T19:00:00.290-07:00I think there's a place for reproof and a plac...I think there's a place for reproof and a place to comfort. I think if you didn't still feel the loss at time, it be abnormal. These are all experiences in life that shape us. <br /><br />Thanks for sharing and helping me understand what others might be going through and not to always judge.Joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09953097825368131379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-8006298919719119932013-03-20T18:23:31.289-07:002013-03-20T18:23:31.289-07:00Don't ever let anyone tell you how and when an...Don't ever let anyone tell you how and when and why and where to grieve. Your journey is your own.<br /><br />You are in my thoughts. Jenna Hatfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00395559692981642575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-32802352676982742962013-03-20T18:12:02.091-07:002013-03-20T18:12:02.091-07:00Hugs Beth. Funny how family can hurt us the most. ...Hugs Beth. Funny how family can hurt us the most. You are a wonderful mamma to both of your children.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03421977133427906932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-11609617867198819712013-03-20T16:45:27.868-07:002013-03-20T16:45:27.868-07:00This is so good! Yesterday, Sully would have been ...This is so good! Yesterday, Sully would have been 30 months. 2 1/2! And, it was a Tuesday. The day he died. My heart knew long before my head why I was having such a sucky day. Most people, including family, never say his name. They just pretend he didn't exist and look exasperated when I bring him up. I can read their minds thinking " get over it already". Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05327574737954838250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-29657895526840224332013-03-20T14:24:57.895-07:002013-03-20T14:24:57.895-07:00Amen! Amen Amen! My daughter would be 6 years old ...Amen! Amen Amen! My daughter would be 6 years old in June. If she had livedKnottedFingershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11397327008284211590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-82896083551471008872013-03-20T13:01:55.138-07:002013-03-20T13:01:55.138-07:00Amen! I agree with every.single.word. Why is it th...Amen! I agree with every.single.word. Why is it that it's those that should be "close" to you who are the ones to treat us like this?Jenn @Treasuring Lifes Blessingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11064643472453403394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-91551545633902930452013-03-20T12:07:41.151-07:002013-03-20T12:07:41.151-07:00I have no idea why it's posting to my blog i d...I have no idea why it's posting to my blog i don't even use my address is www.letterstoleia.ca<br /><br />Angie Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08036210632685564444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-53834223986347029012013-03-20T12:06:28.389-07:002013-03-20T12:06:28.389-07:00My daughter would be almost 18 months old. Every s...My daughter would be almost 18 months old. Every sixth of the month like you it's the same.. <br /><br />It starts on the 2nd which is the day we found out she passed.. Then the 6th creeps up and I'm back to feeling like it was me that died... One 'good' day then the 8th comes (my mom died six months and 2 days after our daughter was stillborn) and bam i've hit the grief wall again.<br /><br />Last month I felt bad because I wasn't a weepy sad mess on the 6th. What a horrible mom I must be.. I wish I had magic words to cure everyone's heart ache but I don't.<br /><br />Family (or in my case) is the worst. They forget quickly. There is no mention of that 5th granddaughter - and 6th grandchild. In fact my sister in law had a son who died a few months after he was born and he's not mentioned either. So he was the first grandson! <br /><br />I feel the same way about worrying if I stop talking about my son who is here with me right now what people would think of me. Sigh hugs to you I read your blog often even when I'm down and out and my own blog is being ignored.<br /><br />I hope you can stop by my site and read stuff i've written.. xxooAngie Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08036210632685564444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-83094944573328593292013-03-20T11:59:28.063-07:002013-03-20T11:59:28.063-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Angie Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08036210632685564444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095265928930417153.post-28497134375209299382013-03-20T10:40:40.994-07:002013-03-20T10:40:40.994-07:00Word. Just, word.Word. Just, word.dejahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11039028378863014713noreply@blogger.com