Tuesday, March 6, 2012


My blogging has been slowing down these past few weeks.  Writing has become very difficult.  I just don't want to do it.  I suppose that part of it is that I just don't feel like I have anything worth saying at the moment.  I feel like I am caught between hope and fear.  It is a difficult place to live.

But since Eve died, something interesting has happened within me.  In the past, I would try to flee this challenging place, immersing myself in escapism.  Now, however, I want to stay present.  I am determined that God use everything for good.  The grief, the confusion, the anxiety, the anger, the terror, the tenuous hope -- everything.

Even though this place is uncomfortable, I know that there are lessons to be learned here.  Important ones.  Perhaps even the most important ones.

So, even though I have not been blogging, I have been pressing in.  Pressing into God.  Trying to trust when everything around and within me screams that trust is useless.  This is the best thing that I can do, and so I try.
"Peter replied, 'Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We've already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.'"

~ John 6:68-69


  1. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, wondering how you are doing. I'm finding that the three month mark was hard for me...not sure exactly why. I have not been able to do much writing at all, either. I encourage you to share through writing only when you feel it is helpful...otherwise, keep doing what you are doing...leaning into the grief and clinging to God. I'm trying to do the same...even though it can be so hard. Sending you so many hugs

  2. Pressing in and trying to trust. It is all you can do, and you are doing it. Doing the best you can. That is all you can do.

  3. Thanks, Alison! It'll be 4 months since she died this weekend, and I can't believe it's already been that long...it has felt REALLY long. But yes, the past month has been nuts.

  4. Praying often for you!

  5. I agree with Yogi dont listen to them, follow your heart and your self by doing what you want no one can stop you..
    Fab Defence

  6. I am so glad you are pressing in and drawing strength from God.
    I do hope you will be inspired to write, I enjoy reading your post!


"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King