Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Naming Eve


I want to share the story of how Eve got her name.

The first thing I did after discovering I was pregnant in May 2011 was to begin making a list of potential names.  My husband and I couldn't agree on any boy names (well, except Thor, but that was sort of a joke).  We did, however, agree on Molly as a potential name for a girl.  I also liked Brynn, and he suggested Eve.

In September we discovered that we were having a girl.  I was overjoyed.  While I would have been so happy with a boy, I desperately wanted (and want) daughters.  And we had been given one!

But we did not progress any further in our name-choosing.  We both felt that we couldn't name our little girl until we met her face to face.

And then everything fell apart -- late on Friday, November 18, we found out that our daughter had died.  We went home, shocked.  I didn't sleep.  I lay in bed, all too awake to the fact that this world is full of suffering.  That my world was now full of suffering.

When I could manage to feel, I felt afraid.  Terrified.  I was afraid to move, to touch my still-pregnant belly.  The baby girl we had been dreaming of for months was dead.  Dead inside my body.

It is a terrible thing to hold your dead child within you.

And then the next day, the hours stretched too-long before us until we were expected at the hospital.  We tried to prepare, but how can you prepare for the unthinkable?  We made sure our dogs had a home for the weekend, and we packed our suitcase.  I vacuumed, and washed the dishes.

When we had done all that we could bear to do, my husband and I huddled together in the living room.

"What should we name her?" I asked.

My husband shook his head.  We hadn't named our baby when she was alive.  How could we name her now, waiting for the birth of her dead body?  It seemed impossible.

I didn't want to name her Molly.  It didn't seem right anymore.  I think that a part of me wanted to "save" the name for our next daughter, who would hopefully live.  Now I don't think I'll ever be able to use that name.

Finally I remembered that my husband had suggested the name Eve.  It wasn't my favorite name of the few we had picked out, but I wanted him to have something to give our daughter.  I had given her life, and a death bed.  He could at least give her a name.

I asked him if he still liked the name Eve.  He did.  We didn't have the heart to wrestle over a middle name.  And so her name is simple, and lovely -- Eve.  Although it was not my favorite name at the time, I have fallen in love with it almost as much as I have fallen in love with its owner.

I found out not very long ago what Eve means.  It means "life."


Even though she's dead, even though she died before she breathed,  it is so right.



I think it's perfect.

Eve's name in the sand


  1. This is such a heartwarming post. I am speechless.

  2. Thank you so much!

  3. Hi Eve, I found your link from walking with you. I am so sorry about your sweet baby girl. I must of been even more difficult that she was your first. My son was stillborn at 20 weeks, one month ago. It has been so very hard. I love the name Eve, and her name in the sand is spectacular! Thanks for sharing

  4. Hi, Tesha. I'm sorry that you've come to know the horror of stillbirth. Much love and biggest hugs to you. :(

  5. "It is a terrible thing to hold your dead child within you."
    It is. I remember my midwife saying that I could safely wait a few days before inducing and I thought that staying pregnant just felt to weird. It was wrong. She was gone.
    Hugs, friend. I love her name. <3

  6. I felt the same way when given that choice, too, Erin. Even the one day we waited until going into the hospital to be induced was horrible -- to still be pregnant, but pregnant with our dead child. It was a terrible day.

  7. wow, Beth...simply wow. Thank you so much for sharing. This is beautiful. I love the name Eve too :)

    Isn't it amazing that God cares about and delights in the smallest details of our lives and our baby's lives? He places a sacred essence on each name. He specifically named Lily Katherine and Eve. The Lord worked out the details of Lily's name, long before I truly realized the depth behind the meaning. Long before any doctor confirmed she was indeed, a she, I knew in my heart she was. It was like the name Lily was already stamped on my heart and I knew that was her identity. I named her Lily, meaning purity and innocence, because she was to a symbol of my renewed purity and my redemption in Jesus Christ (I was in an unplanned, teenage pregnancy out of wedlock.) Little did I know how much she would live up to her name. When i was choosing her middle name, the Lord gave me Katherine. At the time, I had no idea Katherine also means purity. Both her names, both mean purity, When I delivered her, I was suddenly overwhelmed with how her name took on a whole new meaning. She will forever be pure and innocent. Untainted, spotless. We serve a beautiful God.

    Eve, LIFE. Ahh, it gives me chills. So amazingly perfect.

    Beautiful name in the sand photo! <3

  8. That's so beautiful, Hannah! I love how God provides for every little detail, even in the mist of tragedy. Thanks for sharing that with me! <3


"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King