Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Intuitive Imperfection

Summer lightHello, blog friends!  I hope that you are having a wonderful Wednesday!  It is finally sunny and gorgeous here.  While Montana springs are usually moderate and beautiful, this year's spring has been cold, gray, and rainy.  Last week I had to wear a fleece jacket to stay warm outdoors (and, um, indoors).  Crazy!  I'm so glad that the solstice brought summer weather with it.

Unfortunately, pregnancy seems to be preventing me from enjoying my usual summer exploits.  Due to the heat and sun, I don't feel like I can safely hike mountains as I normally would.  Even the farmer's market has been difficult to enjoy because the morning sun seems to make me extremely nauseous.  Yuck.  But I am still enjoying my little growing bean, and have been able to do less intense walks and hikes, as well as taking the pups to the dog park regularly.

It's interesting -- being preggo means that I have to listen even more closely to what my body needs.  For example, at dinner I usually eat a mondo salad, which accounts for almost all of my produce intake for the day.  But now my body does not like having large meals, and so I am learning to modify my ingrained habits (plus, salads now make me gag).  That also means taking a nap when I feel tired (which is often), eating more healthy fats than I'm used to (I have been craving burgers and full fat cheese), and taking things slower (I get out of breath much, much faster).

All that to say -- I think this pregnancy is teaching me really important things about my body and intuition.  Through my years of eating disorder therapy and beyond, that is the one thing that I never felt comfortable with.  I could never give up my control -- I had to exercise a certain amount, and eat certain things in a certain way.  Now I'm having to throw my white-knuckled control out the window -- and even if the results of that are imperfect, that's no bad thing.

Do you like to control things, or are you more intuitive and flexible?  How do you balance the two?


  1. Oh Congratulations! I am behind in my blog reading because of Definately go with your instincts during this time. Par of one pregnancy I lived on all bran crackers, huge kalamata sized black grapes, and all natural vanilla ice cream. I took my prenatal vitamins and lived where I was. Pregnancy is an amazing journey.

  2. It's taken me a while to learn to let go, but I'm better at it than I was at your age. Back then, I wanted to control everything, and I really had little control over anything. Still, I wanted to maintain that illusion of control.

    Nowadays, I'm more of a go with the flow girl, and when I catch myself getting snarky, bossy, etc., I have to remind myself that I'm not the boss of anyone and I need to chill.

    Hooping has actually helped with that; if I try too hard to control where the hoop goes and what it does, my dance looks stiff and uncomfortable (and I drop the hoop a lot), but if I interact with the hoop rather than trying to direct it, I find things go much more smoothly.

  3. I can totally see hooping doing that! It didn't for me, but making art does (as does writing, though to a lesser extent). I guess it's because it's nearly impossible for me to create something based on a mental image I get (that matches, that is), so I have to let go and see what happens. It is usually quite an awesome experience!

  4. Do you like to control things, or are you more intuitive and flexible? How do you balance the two?

    hello bethmorey, just simple discipline to our self and balancing is very important. God bless.


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― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King