Peanut Butter Pluck

As one might imagine, I enjoy cooking. It makes sense, right? I mean, I keep a fairly active cooking blog, for Pete's sake (although who Pete might be is beyond me). What does not make as much sense is how weird I am about said cooking, and eating in general. Why? You may well ask. As an over-exerciser and calorie-restricter, I'm currently in treatment for disordered eating. Mostly on the anorexic side of things, but with roots in and (for me, anyway) a panic-inducing tendency toward bulimia when I'm not restricting my food intake.

Remember my pursuit of protein? I've mastered that, for the most part -- I love beans! -- and now am moving on to conquer steeper peaks. One process that I'm currently and painstakingly working through is adding calories and fat to my diet. The goal is to get every meal (not counting healthy snacks) up to a minimum of 500 calories, and to add a little bit of healthy fat as well. Scary, and extraordinarily challenging.

But, happily, this chapter is not without its glimpses of hard-won success. Take this week's Monday dinner, for example. As my work day came to a close, I found myself craving peanut stir-fry. Instead of squashing the feeling, I decided to indulge. After all, I had a bag of stir-fry veggies in the freezer, Smart Strips vegetarian chicken in the fridge, and low-carb shirataki noodles. I decided to go for it. This recipe makes one serving of tangy peanut sauce -- enough to cover half a package of noodles, one full package of Smart Strips, and about one cup of vegetables. Not only that, but it's delicious, easy, and -- despite what my internal eating disordered voice insists -- healthy. Enjoy, without guilt! I was able to, and that is a true victory for me.

Victory Peanut Sauce

1+ T smooth peanut butter
1 T soy sauce
1 T rice vinegar
1/2 T honey
1/8 tsp cayenne powder
1/2 tsp lemon juice

Whisk together all the ingredients, then stir-fry with vegetables, fish, chicken, or use as a marinade or dressing however you'd like. Yum!